Just before writing this post..I had a look at my blog..and I saw that most of my posts are either nostalgic or reveal some frustration. Here comes yet another one. Looks like I have become a masochist. So please do not get continue if you are not a 'sad soul ' like me.
I have been in Paris for almost a month now. The initial days were quite good, was enjoying the new place. But as days passed ,I started getting sick n tired of the city, considered to be one of the most beautiful cities in the world, full of beautiful girls. I have seen almost all the important places of the city..but not yet been to the top of Eiffel...I know that sucks..but yeah its true. But now I don't even feel like going out and prefer staying in my room, quiet, alone, thinking something or the other. As I sit here in my room writing this post, the view from my window is absolutely quiet, serene and its been drizzling for quite some time now. This makes my mood even sombre and start asking myself, what in the world would make me absolutely happy. Is it success, fame, money, girl, I seriously don't know. Maybe I don't want to be happy and I keep searching for reasons to be sad. This has reinforced my belief in the fact that I am a masochist. An a****** like me who cannot even enjoy in a city like Paris..is most certainly a big looser.
But on the positive side, I think I have realized, partially though, the biggest truth- Even the best of worldly pleasures last for only a fleeting moment. And its gone before u thought u could live with it forever. You may then ask, does that mean we should stop enjoying worldly pleasures and search for that 'something' which you are not sure of?? The answer is again, I don't know. Happiness is a relative term. It varies widely from individual to individual. I recall a line from a movie which said, ' Happiness is the absence of sadness'. I don't know what it is for me. Before I came here, I desperately wanted to be here. And now when I am here, every day seems like an eternity. I miss my family, friends, everyone I love and when I was with them, I was least bothered to be with them. So, for me happiness is a state, a situation, a place or an object which I want, but as soon as I have it, I want to revert back to the old state. Which means that the entropy of my mind and thought is very high and I am unable to attain an equilibrium. As per science I studied in high school, every matter wants to come to a state of equilibrium. So I feel that I have been defying the laws of nature all this while.
All this while, when such thoughts keep coming to my mind, I take resort to smoking. Though I am sure it doesn't work for me, it gives me some sort of satisfaction, which I take in my own destruction..another trait of masochist. Just to intervene, as I write this post, I seriously feel, I have a very limited vocab., which means I am unable to express myself in a way I would have liked to..But then who reads this crap..except some loosers like me..so it hardly matters. Back to the topic, my mind has been occupied by a thought for last 3-4 days, which I have been simply unable to get rid of. And my loneliness has been compounded by it. I wouldn't exactly mention what it is, but to those of you who have taken the pain to read this bullshit all this while, its something I can never..ever have, maybe because its not my destiny or because God has some better plans for me. But my highly entropic mind would not succumb to such 'high sounding' logic. I feel I deserve it more than anyone in this world. But at the back of my mind I know it would never be mine. Every time I have a any kind of setback, personal or professional, I feel its been the worst till now, and for me it has been an increasing function( a purely personal opinion). So I should expect something real good(pun intended) not very far off. But then being the masochist I am, I think I would miss something if my life moves on smoothly.
The bottomline of the whole thing is 'I don't want to be happy' and I am quite contended with it. So I don't have a reason to be angry with God (copied the line shamelessly from the movie 'A walk To Remember'). Maybe I am one of a kind..I hope thats enough of nonesense..bye for now
Friday, June 22, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
The Days That Were..Part I
I never took my writing seriously. I started blogging during last few days of my college just to while away the loads of time I had then and maybe to give words to the unstructured ideas which crosses my mind or which troubled me or made me happy. I am not too sure about the motive..but now I feel it was a good initiative. I got some compliments for my writing and like any other human being it infalted my pride in my writing. Today when Rajeev praised my blog 'And I am all alone', I felt like writing something about my college life..The last one was written on the spur of the moment and so its definitely close to my heart. But even now, as I am missing my college days badly, I will try to relive those moments and write something close to the last one..Though I am sure it wont be as spontaneous..But I'll try..This one goes for the NINE..the greatest of friends in my batch.
In the title I mentioned 'part I'. Though I am not sure I'll be able to write something really long..But I want to keep some scope for future as well..for days when I become nostalgic once again..nd feel like writing about those 5 wonderful years.
It all started in 2002. As it always happens when you meet new people, you try to find those with whom you like to be with,the most. I was real lucky in this regard. I didn't have to try. It was all so spontaneous. I made friends with tanay, beni, sid, gulli initially. Initially I hated Aman like anything, who later on became a great friend. Sorry Sardar if you are reading this, but I have told this to you earlier. So I hope this doesn't count :). Towards the end of first year, came close to both Raji(ee)vs. This made seven of us. The most interesting of it was with Pawan. I am sure even Pawan would agree. We were bitter foes till second year. I enjoyed beating him in AOE like I had conquered the world. But then, I don't know how that bond began to develop between us. As far as I remember, it was in the third year, when we became good friends and now we are great friends :). About Sabarish, I don't remember how I got to know him as a friend, it just happened, maybe because that was the only way the NINE could be formed :).
The days at IIITM were all fun with least possible studies. Among the first of my memories which needs a mention is the GOA trip. Although there are other memories as well but the sweetest ones are those, which happened towards the end of college.I'll write about them in the subsequent parts. So I start with our GOA trip. For those among NINE, who were not part of this eventful trip..please bear with me..because you would be there in almost all of the rest of my memoirs. It was four of us. Me, beni, tanay and aman. It was a fantastic trip. We went in April and although it was not the best of times to go, we enjoyed in our own way. Beaches, babes, bikes and buddies great combination indeed :) (I didn't try to make this one..It was spontaneous :D). The trip had some great incidents. The first one when four of us were in an auto and tanay and sumit made some really weird stories because we were under the impression that the driver had some plans to kidnap us or something :) hehe..Well it was nite and we were travelling on a 'kacchi sadak' with no one to be seen around and the driver's cell riniging numerous times and when he talked it was hardly audible. So, we were almost sure that something was wrong, somewhere. But it was not..or who knows may be it was. We just became alert at the right time and it saved the day for us. We saw a couple of really intersting scenes..I cannot mention that explicitly in the blog.. :)..While returning,In the train, I woke up in the night to find that the three of them were missing . I didn't know what to do and was making plans as to what to do with their luggage and all, they appeared from nowhere and I sighed a relief :). While reading this train incident, you might feel what's so special about it that it needed a mention. But those who were part of it, would most definitely agree with me that it needed a definite mention :). Then the ride to Palolem beach was a real good experience as well.
There were some small incidents here n there, but if I go on descibing each and every thing, It would take whole night to write and take quite sometime to read as well..So I stop here..
I know this one is not even close to the last one( And I am all alone) in terms of its spontaneity nd sthng sthng. But then I have started this series 'The Days that were....', and as I write the remaining parts I am sure it would definitely make a gud reading..So keep reading and posting your valuable comments..Who knows maybe I'll be able to publish my second book soon..Oh didn't I tell you I am writing a book on 'Grid Computing' :P..hehe
Bye for now..will be writing part II soon..
In the title I mentioned 'part I'. Though I am not sure I'll be able to write something really long..But I want to keep some scope for future as well..for days when I become nostalgic once again..nd feel like writing about those 5 wonderful years.
It all started in 2002. As it always happens when you meet new people, you try to find those with whom you like to be with,the most. I was real lucky in this regard. I didn't have to try. It was all so spontaneous. I made friends with tanay, beni, sid, gulli initially. Initially I hated Aman like anything, who later on became a great friend. Sorry Sardar if you are reading this, but I have told this to you earlier. So I hope this doesn't count :). Towards the end of first year, came close to both Raji(ee)vs. This made seven of us. The most interesting of it was with Pawan. I am sure even Pawan would agree. We were bitter foes till second year. I enjoyed beating him in AOE like I had conquered the world. But then, I don't know how that bond began to develop between us. As far as I remember, it was in the third year, when we became good friends and now we are great friends :). About Sabarish, I don't remember how I got to know him as a friend, it just happened, maybe because that was the only way the NINE could be formed :).
The days at IIITM were all fun with least possible studies. Among the first of my memories which needs a mention is the GOA trip. Although there are other memories as well but the sweetest ones are those, which happened towards the end of college.I'll write about them in the subsequent parts. So I start with our GOA trip. For those among NINE, who were not part of this eventful trip..please bear with me..because you would be there in almost all of the rest of my memoirs. It was four of us. Me, beni, tanay and aman. It was a fantastic trip. We went in April and although it was not the best of times to go, we enjoyed in our own way. Beaches, babes, bikes and buddies great combination indeed :) (I didn't try to make this one..It was spontaneous :D). The trip had some great incidents. The first one when four of us were in an auto and tanay and sumit made some really weird stories because we were under the impression that the driver had some plans to kidnap us or something :) hehe..Well it was nite and we were travelling on a 'kacchi sadak' with no one to be seen around and the driver's cell riniging numerous times and when he talked it was hardly audible. So, we were almost sure that something was wrong, somewhere. But it was not..or who knows may be it was. We just became alert at the right time and it saved the day for us. We saw a couple of really intersting scenes..I cannot mention that explicitly in the blog.. :)..While returning,In the train, I woke up in the night to find that the three of them were missing . I didn't know what to do and was making plans as to what to do with their luggage and all, they appeared from nowhere and I sighed a relief :). While reading this train incident, you might feel what's so special about it that it needed a mention. But those who were part of it, would most definitely agree with me that it needed a definite mention :). Then the ride to Palolem beach was a real good experience as well.
There were some small incidents here n there, but if I go on descibing each and every thing, It would take whole night to write and take quite sometime to read as well..So I stop here..
I know this one is not even close to the last one( And I am all alone) in terms of its spontaneity nd sthng sthng. But then I have started this series 'The Days that were....', and as I write the remaining parts I am sure it would definitely make a gud reading..So keep reading and posting your valuable comments..Who knows maybe I'll be able to publish my second book soon..Oh didn't I tell you I am writing a book on 'Grid Computing' :P..hehe
Bye for now..will be writing part II soon..
Thursday, June 7, 2007
In Paris
Hello friends!!!I'm back after a loooong hibernation :)
Its been more than two weeks since I have been in Paris and I have been dying to update my blog.
Finally I got the chance today. So here I am..writting all crap once again.
I reached here on 23rd May and though it wasnt a delightful journey it wasnt bad either. My flight had a 4 hour halt at Helsinki and I just kept wandering on the airport like a lost soul, smoking cigaratte , then wandering ,then smoking again. Somehow I managed to while away those 4 hours, took the connecting flight and reached Paris at 11:30. My prof has sent two of his students to pick me up. After an hour of train journey I reached ECP. After some formilities, we moved for lunch and I had to eat with fork and knife, something I was not used to. But I managed :) . After the lunch I met some Indian students from IITK and was quite relieved that I will be able to talk to guys who speak tha same language as me (People here hardly speak English). It was already evening and I was really tired and felt like sleeping. However the sun was right up there at even 8 pm. Just then I came to know from other guys that here its not dark before 10:30...Welcome to Paris
I have seen quite a few places in the past week. I have been to Chatellete, La Defense, Arc de Triomphe, saw Eiffel from bus, Louvre museum and some stray places here n there. I had to write this thing: The girls here are really gorgeous ;)..infact gorgeous is an understatement :P
But I have been able to control my carnal instincts till now (rather I have no choice). Ok..Lets forget that part and talk about the city. First things first. This time of the year, the weather is really pleasant out here. It rained for a couple of days initially and it became quite cold. But its back to sunshine and a nice weather now. Beer is really cheap here and I am loving it. Hail Paris. And yes water is costlier than beer. So its been only beer this now. But, the cigarette here is very costly. And I hate that because I smoke more than I drink.
The experience with the people here also has been quite good. A couple of times while crossing the road, as in India, i just looked left n right and crossed, just to realize that a car came very near to me. No criticism intended, but had it been India I would have heard really sweet words(pun intended), but here the driver (a lady) just smiled and asked me to cross the road.
The only problem I have faced here is that I have to cook myself. But slowly I'm getting used to it. Egg has become my staple food here, for two reasons, easy to cook and really cheap. The second reason is far more applicable tho :).
Not much to talk about the beauty of the city itself. You already know about it. But in my words, it's beautiful, clean, well organized and full of nice and pretty looking girls. I have already started loving this place. We are planning to visist Amsterdam soon..u know why right ;)..So will be updating my album and blog very soon. Signing off now..bye..
Its been more than two weeks since I have been in Paris and I have been dying to update my blog.
Finally I got the chance today. So here I am..writting all crap once again.
I reached here on 23rd May and though it wasnt a delightful journey it wasnt bad either. My flight had a 4 hour halt at Helsinki and I just kept wandering on the airport like a lost soul, smoking cigaratte , then wandering ,then smoking again. Somehow I managed to while away those 4 hours, took the connecting flight and reached Paris at 11:30. My prof has sent two of his students to pick me up. After an hour of train journey I reached ECP. After some formilities, we moved for lunch and I had to eat with fork and knife, something I was not used to. But I managed :) . After the lunch I met some Indian students from IITK and was quite relieved that I will be able to talk to guys who speak tha same language as me (People here hardly speak English). It was already evening and I was really tired and felt like sleeping. However the sun was right up there at even 8 pm. Just then I came to know from other guys that here its not dark before 10:30...Welcome to Paris
I have seen quite a few places in the past week. I have been to Chatellete, La Defense, Arc de Triomphe, saw Eiffel from bus, Louvre museum and some stray places here n there. I had to write this thing: The girls here are really gorgeous ;)..infact gorgeous is an understatement :P
But I have been able to control my carnal instincts till now (rather I have no choice). Ok..Lets forget that part and talk about the city. First things first. This time of the year, the weather is really pleasant out here. It rained for a couple of days initially and it became quite cold. But its back to sunshine and a nice weather now. Beer is really cheap here and I am loving it. Hail Paris. And yes water is costlier than beer. So its been only beer this now. But, the cigarette here is very costly. And I hate that because I smoke more than I drink.
The experience with the people here also has been quite good. A couple of times while crossing the road, as in India, i just looked left n right and crossed, just to realize that a car came very near to me. No criticism intended, but had it been India I would have heard really sweet words(pun intended), but here the driver (a lady) just smiled and asked me to cross the road.
The only problem I have faced here is that I have to cook myself. But slowly I'm getting used to it. Egg has become my staple food here, for two reasons, easy to cook and really cheap. The second reason is far more applicable tho :).
Not much to talk about the beauty of the city itself. You already know about it. But in my words, it's beautiful, clean, well organized and full of nice and pretty looking girls. I have already started loving this place. We are planning to visist Amsterdam soon..u know why right ;)..So will be updating my album and blog very soon. Signing off now..bye..
Friday, May 11, 2007
...And I am all alone
As I write this blog, I sit sans my friends, in the institutes's lab. Just 2 days back I parted with all my friends and it was a terrible moment to say the least. Having known someone for 5 wonderfully long years and then saying them goodbye, just hoping that u meet them soon, ... My mind is full with memories of last 5 years, most of them beautiful, and I am unable to overcome that nostalgia. Maybe that is not to be forgotten, its to be relived ..
I returned this morning from Delhi at about 3:30 am. When I entered my wing, there was an uncanny silence, something that I was not used to..because my corridor was empty and then "again" I realized that "I was alone". On any other day I would have headed to any of my friends room..for yet another round of bakar..but today I simply couldn't.. I wish God gave me that last one month back..I want to relive that...I would give up almost anything for that.
Tired like anything, I felt like sleeping..but I didn't. Instead I lighted a cigarette, sat in the balcony of our corridor and started recalling beautiful moments from last 5 years. I could almost picture my friends standing there and my eyes became wet. Sitting there, when I started feeling lonely and sad..I remembered Tanay's words "doston ke ssath beetaye huye acchhe pal yaad karo and khush ho jao"..I tried hard but I couldn't feel any better..maybe I'm emotionally weaker than many of my friends..but I have no qualms about it.
While being together, one forgets that one day we all have to go our ways. Some of us surely will stay together but not all of us. I'm perhaps the most unlucky in this regard. I'm going to US for an MS. So most certainly I will not be able to meet my friends as often as I would have liked to. But I swear to God, I will always remember my friends , no matter what.
Today I am going home. I desperately want to..maybe meeting my maa , papa and sis will help me ease this uncomfortable feeling. I must sign off now..I have some packing left. Good lucks bros..we will definitely meet very soon.."kyuni duniya bahut chhoti hai aur jindaagi bahut lambi.."
I returned this morning from Delhi at about 3:30 am. When I entered my wing, there was an uncanny silence, something that I was not used to..because my corridor was empty and then "again" I realized that "I was alone". On any other day I would have headed to any of my friends room..for yet another round of bakar..but today I simply couldn't.. I wish God gave me that last one month back..I want to relive that...I would give up almost anything for that.
Tired like anything, I felt like sleeping..but I didn't. Instead I lighted a cigarette, sat in the balcony of our corridor and started recalling beautiful moments from last 5 years. I could almost picture my friends standing there and my eyes became wet. Sitting there, when I started feeling lonely and sad..I remembered Tanay's words "doston ke ssath beetaye huye acchhe pal yaad karo and khush ho jao"..I tried hard but I couldn't feel any better..maybe I'm emotionally weaker than many of my friends..but I have no qualms about it.
While being together, one forgets that one day we all have to go our ways. Some of us surely will stay together but not all of us. I'm perhaps the most unlucky in this regard. I'm going to US for an MS. So most certainly I will not be able to meet my friends as often as I would have liked to. But I swear to God, I will always remember my friends , no matter what.
Today I am going home. I desperately want to..maybe meeting my maa , papa and sis will help me ease this uncomfortable feeling. I must sign off now..I have some packing left. Good lucks bros..we will definitely meet very soon.."kyuni duniya bahut chhoti hai aur jindaagi bahut lambi.."
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Murphy's Laws
I'm back after 4 days of hibernation..looks like I am becoming a "blog-addict" :D. So without digressing too much I move on straight to the point. I read about the Murphy's philosophy today. Well most of us are aware with the most famous Murphy's law "If anything can go wrong, it will". But some of you might be surprised to know (as I was) there's much more to Murphy's law than the one I just wrote. From now on what I write has most probably been taken from some other site after little googling..but I'm sure it will make an interesting reading :)
There's a whole series of Murphy's law Basic Laws, Love laws,Mother's Laws, technology laws to name some. To start with I present the most interesting Love laws as we are more or less aware of the basic laws.
Murphy's love laws
- All the good ones are taken (I totally agree with this one)
- If a person is not taken there's a reason (refer to rule 1)
- Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
- Nice guys(girls) finish last (looks like I'll have to wait a lot :P )
Murphy was an engineer working on some air force project. One day after finding a that a transducer was wired wrong, he cursed the technician saying "If there is any way to do it wrong, he'll find it". So that's how it started. When you first read the laws, it might seem that Murphy is being a pessimist, but when you think more about it..u'll probably realize he is a die-hard optimist :). Ok now onto some interesting technology ones.
Murphy's Technology Laws (really cool ones)
- Logic is a systematic way of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
- If builders built building like the programmers wrote program, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy the civillization.
- If mathematically you end up with a wrong answer, try multiplying with the page number.
- If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
- Any instrument when dropped, will go to the least accessible corner.
- The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management. (my MBA friends may beg to differ :D)
I hope that made an interesting reading. So follow the Murphy Philosophy friends..Smile..Tomorrow will be worse. Cheers!!!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
exams over..what next??
well my "last exam" in IIITM got over some 3 hours back..one of the worst papers I had to appear in at IIITM..and throughout the exam I felt why the hell am I writing this paper anyway..well the answer is I really wanted it to be my last exam here :)..Aman was sitting next to me and whenever i looked at him..he had this "stop writing man..let's go" written over his face. But I held on till I could and finally I stopped writing..leaving some 10 marks unattempted..I sincerely hope by then I had written enough to see me through..
Now that exams are over (my last one..to remind u once again)..I don't feel any different..I feel the same now as I was feeling yesterday..no joy..well I was supposed to be happy now..but I am not..there are a lot of things going on my mind right now, some personal..others professional and so I am unable to have a still head . Have I forgotten how to be happy? I truly don't know. Maybe because I don't live in the moment..I keep thinking about my future nd all and start getting bothered.
I saw this movie Pursuit of Happiness some time back. It was a simple movie about a guy who has his life in total mess. He didn't have a proper job..his personal life was in mess. But then he did something very simple..he held on..didn't give up..lived in the moment..and sailed out of it with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes..the tears of joy..the tears of satisfaction.. The movie did have some impact on me for a couple of days..but after that..it was gone.. Today as am writing this blog..it suddenly came to my mind..I don't know how. Maybe I should ponder over that movie for a while...but then it's not much of a use because such things make me comfortable for a while..then it's the same old cobwebs in my mind...I said that because I am an outright pessimist..
I guess it's enough for this post..I am having trouble structuring my ideas right now..I want to a write a lot of things..but I want to keep some things just for me.. :)..see u soon..Happy Blogging
Now that exams are over (my last one..to remind u once again)..I don't feel any different..I feel the same now as I was feeling yesterday..no joy..well I was supposed to be happy now..but I am not..there are a lot of things going on my mind right now, some personal..others professional and so I am unable to have a still head . Have I forgotten how to be happy? I truly don't know. Maybe because I don't live in the moment..I keep thinking about my future nd all and start getting bothered.
I saw this movie Pursuit of Happiness some time back. It was a simple movie about a guy who has his life in total mess. He didn't have a proper job..his personal life was in mess. But then he did something very simple..he held on..didn't give up..lived in the moment..and sailed out of it with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes..the tears of joy..the tears of satisfaction.. The movie did have some impact on me for a couple of days..but after that..it was gone.. Today as am writing this blog..it suddenly came to my mind..I don't know how. Maybe I should ponder over that movie for a while...but then it's not much of a use because such things make me comfortable for a while..then it's the same old cobwebs in my mind...I said that because I am an outright pessimist..
I guess it's enough for this post..I am having trouble structuring my ideas right now..I want to a write a lot of things..but I want to keep some things just for me.. :)..see u soon..Happy Blogging
Monday, April 30, 2007
got a reject from ohio..
Fuck man..why the hell can't they just send an email...saying u have not been selected..instead they choose to dish out the humiliation by an airmail. Must say i am pretty disappointed and have no other way to vent my frustration than writing this blog. From the reviews I had from my seniors, I got to know, making into it is some what easy..but..
I had a pretty ordinary app thing..considering that i got 5 rejects. I am to blame for this to an extent. I applied to most of the top univs where they dont take a******s like me. With this reject the list now is, rejects from wisc, umich, gatech, osu and ucsd. So there u can c, the rejects are all from highly ranked univs, if u remove osu from the list. So all those applying this year and reading this post..atleast do not apply to wisc and ucsd unless you have some kick-ass reco or have an excellent research background(read papers published in international journals/conference).
According to me the univs have a pretty weird admit procedure. Obviously if u have done ur under graduation from a college like IIT, you have much better chance of ending up at some nice place. For others, u have to have a good GPA, pretty good gre score , reco , sop blah blah.. Some univs don't give any weightage to ur general gre..But then a good score definitely helps.I messed it up. Had 1390 (800+590).. For some univs reco plays the most important role..so those in 2nd 3rd year and planning to pursue an MS or Phd..start working on your reco..a reco from a prof at say IIT or IISc carries a lot of weight. Rest its your luck.
I don't know whether it's my luck or it's me..till now I have failed at all critical junctures in my life..Maybe I'm not as good enough as I suppose I am. God knows.. But I sincerely feel my luck has eluded me to some extent..Just two admits..UPenn and JHU. USC is asking for my financial certificates..and I am sure to make into it..but for some really weirdo out there..
I am getting more frustrated as I write this post..so i have to stop
I had a pretty ordinary app thing..considering that i got 5 rejects. I am to blame for this to an extent. I applied to most of the top univs where they dont take a******s like me. With this reject the list now is, rejects from wisc, umich, gatech, osu and ucsd. So there u can c, the rejects are all from highly ranked univs, if u remove osu from the list. So all those applying this year and reading this post..atleast do not apply to wisc and ucsd unless you have some kick-ass reco or have an excellent research background(read papers published in international journals/conference).
According to me the univs have a pretty weird admit procedure. Obviously if u have done ur under graduation from a college like IIT, you have much better chance of ending up at some nice place. For others, u have to have a good GPA, pretty good gre score , reco , sop blah blah.. Some univs don't give any weightage to ur general gre..But then a good score definitely helps.I messed it up. Had 1390 (800+590).. For some univs reco plays the most important role..so those in 2nd 3rd year and planning to pursue an MS or Phd..start working on your reco..a reco from a prof at say IIT or IISc carries a lot of weight. Rest its your luck.
I don't know whether it's my luck or it's me..till now I have failed at all critical junctures in my life..Maybe I'm not as good enough as I suppose I am. God knows.. But I sincerely feel my luck has eluded me to some extent..Just two admits..UPenn and JHU. USC is asking for my financial certificates..and I am sure to make into it..but for some really weirdo out there..
I am getting more frustrated as I write this post..so i have to stop
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